


love letter for bichael

by pluvieux



Category: Original Work
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-04
Updated: 2019-01-04
Packaged: 2019-10-04 05:55:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17299031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pluvieux/pseuds/pluvieux
Summary: private + unlisted baybeeee





	love letter for bichael

i hope my baby is sleeping well. i just wanted to say that you are all that is on my mind right now + for some reason i can't string together coherent thoughts, i feel stupid hyper + all i can do is stand up, get a running start + launch myself on the couch like the acrobat i am, or lie on the floor + stare at the ceiling, or, right now, aggressively rocking in this chair while typing this out because i feel like you should know how important you are to me (or rather, how prominent your presence is in my Thinking Organ right now.) 

i used to obsess ovr all of the adventures i could have once there would be nothing to stop me (irresponsible? or epic?) + now i feel like some of them just wouldn't feel the same without being able to intertwine my fingers with yours, or turning just to meet your gaze + telling you the first horrible thing that comes to mind just to see your reaction, or honestly just ?? sometimes just being with you alleviates everything about life. there's no one i would rather be with than you. tdff ,, these used to be things that i wanted to do because they were the perfect distance from reality, like if i wasn't in la vergne i wasn't emi + if i wasn't emi i didn't have emi's problems. i was just another stranger floating around nashville or admiring the view or eating at some burger shop two hours away for No Fucking Reason in Particular but now i just want to have fun. i don't want planetariums as an escapism anymore, i kinda just want to be like hey michael let's go look at some cool shit together because you make my heart uwu but like im also really excited about astronomy so let's just murder two birds with one stone or whatever that vegan alternative peta put out like feed two birds with one stone but like i would totally yeet a bird. two birds. w one stone because i'm epic + skilled to kill. 

there's a certain intimacy in going to walmart at 1am + impersonating idubbbz way too fucking much but it's late + we're in love so everything's fucking /hilarious./ yeah we just fuck around now but my heart skips beats when i think ab like when we're going to go on grocery runs + going aisle to aisle trying to find dinner + what we need at home + just,,,, wow. home as in we're gonna have to decide on the Best dog food. home as in you can wake up + pull me closer to you just to fall back asleep but i'll drowsily wake up + then i'll either melt or my heart will beat so fucking hard that i'll have a fucking stroke because i love you so much. right now i'm thinking like wow we could be making pasta together right now, we could sit on the floor of the living room + watch the office + we can talk about anything + everything + i will never care because i never tire of talking to you. we can take pictures of the sunrise through the window + every laugh will be a little dizzy w love bc we're fucking gay. 

i can honestly say that i have never felt comfort at such an intensity. that love isn't something i store in the back of my head + imagine because why daydream when i have you ?? + sometimes i think about riding a bike between mountains + i count clouds in my head + i think hm, yeah !! p spicy but it would be better with you, i think. everything between us feels so beautiful like you could probably sock me in the face + i'd write about it in my journal + scribble hearts around it. well, like, maybe not but honestly i'm so fucking infatuated with you. 

isn't it insane that i ached for 2019 to bring me a "doing better than i evr was" moment + not even 48 hours in that's exactly what you gave me. 

not to be lame but all i've been doing (why the fuck is this taking me so long to write? deadass i started at like 5ish) is thinking of you + i've been thinking of all the ways i can love you in evry season. snow on your nose, leaves in your hair, i don't know. + i think abt how some leaves stay green + they don't change with the seasons + i think abt how my love for you is unconditonal + Green forever. (even though i think i should be able to change the colour of my love for you like a chameleon or something bc red is cuuute) 

\+ like ??? i can't shut up about you. if a random stranger stopped me on the street + asked me what i was thinking about, your name would come spilling out before i'd mention imagining myself having superpowers. okay maybe it's a reach that you're cooler than superpowers but i'm definitely so much more obsessed with you + bnha is kinda our thing anyways so whatever. when you're sleepy + you hear me sigh ovr the phone so your brain's like oh Emi is Here + you reach out for me ,,, gods when you told me that my heart felt it. i felt it behind my eyes, my fingertips, it spread throughout my body + it felt like i got suckerpunched by happiness.

the love i have specifically stored for you (i trademarked it by the way we're the only couple allowed to exist without a lawsuit LUH U BIH WE REALLY OUT HERE DOIN THIS) is remarkable, you've got a smile that i keep in mind + yeah it's been two months but it's been a long time coming. this love is soft + beautiful oh fucking gods everything about you + everything about us just feels so fucking beautiful 

\+ sometimes i get scared !! because anxiety pushes its way back up into my throat so i end up pushing you away + i'm begging for you to not go away inside of my head + yeah maybe my brainwaves didn't intercept kokomo's thoughts but they made their way to missouri so suck on that. + i get scared because love for me has never meant staying, my love always being as an ocean + trying so hard to fit myself into a mold i didn't belong in + 

this love ?? what we have ?? it's kickass + i have never felt such bliss. i don't care what other people think because it's not their business + there's no shame in being in love + i have full Reason to. i want to marry you. i'm already fully committed to you, i'm ready to put you before me, to put all my eggs in one basket per se. let's do anal. i love you. i'm so fucking in love you. i feel like the love we share is meant to last. 

my heart pounds when i speak to you, it nearly bursts through the veins trying to hold it together + i look at you + think yeah. Yeah. 

i'm living moments i want to burn into my brain, i engrave them into my journal + lace all the words with the thought of you. my blood runs a little warmer now, 

to turn ovr at night + find the warmth of you + have it be so unbelievably comforting. being with you is beyond my imagination + even if your hands are freezing Please Let Me Hold Them + if you ever left i think i'd take a hiatus from touching love, find it revolting because you're showing me something that can't be matched. everyone before you, anyone that could be after you, they don't stand a fucking chance because nothing could come close to how you make me feel. i know. i know the whole "love is fleeting" shtick, forever is widely common as a shot in the dark + it's so easy to be cynical but it really could be us in the end. because baby if you ever left i think missing you would be breathing. it'll be there like background noise like sirens in the city. i slur your name no matter the type of haze. i want to trace my fingertips along your jaw, your eyelids, i think of you as sunlight we could walk through as the pouring rain we should kiss in + i would taste acid if i evr thought you weren't in love with me

what i'm saying is that it's 8am + i'm about to drive out to the gas station to get some coffee even though i recently learned it's bad for anxiety but FUCK that hazelnut flavour expresso shot whatevers SLAP !!!! i'm just saying it feels like you were made for me, i wish you were here so bad + you really do have my forever. ... + yeah. i want to go grocery shopping w you+ banter + i want to learn how you take your coffee in the mornings should you Ever + i want to memorize the way you wake up + i just want to be the person you need. i want to be yours. i don't know, maybe i really do want to be something you can't live without. stay. i promise i'll never let you down.


End file.
